The Holidays Aren’t Happy for Everyone: Depression, Grief, and the Importance of Checking on Your People

Purposeful Visions — The Holidays Aren’t Happy for Everyone

Written by Delynn Turner, M.S., CGD, Founder of Purposeful Visions

Published: October 2026 | Last reviewed: October 2026 

🔑 Key Takeaway

The holidays aren’t happy for everyone. Someone you know may be grieving, lonely, depressed, or struggling silently.

Don’t just think about them—reach out.

Make the call. Send the text. Knock on the door. Share a meal. Bring the pie. 🥧❤️

You don’t have to solve their problems. Sometimes simply showing up and saying, “I thought about you,” can make a meaningful difference.

This holiday season, give a gift that costs nothing: your time, your presence, and your compassion.

The holiday season is among us.

For many people, that means family gatherings, decorations, holiday music, food, laughter, gifts, and traditions.

But for someone else, that same holiday song may bring back a memory that hurts.

That empty chair at the dinner table may represent someone who is no longer here.

A family gathering may remind someone of a broken relationship.

Buying gifts may create financial stress for a parent who is already struggling to pay the bills.

And while social media fills up with smiling families, decorated homes, vacations, engagements, and celebrations, someone watching from the other side of the screen may be quietly thinking:

“I wish I felt as happy as everyone else looks.”

At Purposeful Visions, we want people to remember something important this holiday season:

The Holidays Aren’t Happy for Everyone

The holidays can be particularly difficult for people experiencing grief, loneliness, depression, family conflict, financial hardship, or painful memories.

Sometimes the people struggling the most are the people we least expect.

They may still go to work.

They may still cook Thanksgiving dinner.

They may still buy Christmas presents.

They may still post pictures on Facebook.

They may still smile when you see them.

But a smile doesn't always tell us what someone is carrying inside.

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Grief Doesn't Take a Holiday

Imagine celebrating the holidays every year with someone you love—and suddenly that person isn't there.

Their chair is empty.

Their voice is missing.

Their favorite dish may still be on the table, but they aren't there to enjoy it.

For someone grieving the death of a parent, spouse, child, sibling, relative, or close friend, holiday traditions can become powerful reminders of what has been lost.

And grief isn't limited to death.

People may also be grieving:

• A divorce or separation

• The loss of a friendship

• Estrangement from family

• A miscarriage

• Loss of employment

• A serious change in their life

• Children who have moved away

• A relationship that ended

• The life they thought they would have

There is no calendar that determines when someone should be “over” a loss.

Healing takes time, and holidays can bring emotions back to the surface—even years later. For additional guidance on coping with loss during the holiday season, read this resource from the Associated Clinic of Psychology: Navigating Grief Over the Holidays 

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Loneliness Can Feel Louder During the Holidays

Holiday advertising constantly shows us families together.

Dinner tables are full.

Everyone is laughing.

Couples are exchanging gifts.

Children are running downstairs Christmas morning.

But that isn't everyone's reality.

Some people live alone.

Some don't have close family.

Some have lost their spouse.

Some are separated from their children.

Some are surrounded by relatives but still feel emotionally alone.

And sometimes loneliness becomes even more noticeable when it seems like everyone else is celebrating.

That is why a simple act of kindness can matter.

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Financial Stress Is Real

The holidays can also create enormous financial pressure.

There are gifts to buy, meals to prepare, decorations, travel expenses, parties, school activities, and countless expectations.

Some parents may be wondering how they will put gifts under the tree while also paying rent, utilities, groceries, and other bills.

Someone may decline a holiday invitation because they cannot afford to participate.

Another person may disappear socially because they are embarrassed about their financial circumstances.

Before judging someone's absence, silence, or lack of participation, consider that there may be something happening that you cannot see.

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Social Media Doesn't Always Show the Whole Story

During the holidays, our timelines can become highlight reels.

Beautiful Christmas trees.

Matching pajamas.

Family photographs.

Expensive gifts.

Holiday vacations.

Engagement announcements.

Happy couples.

But we need to remember:

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Social media usually shows us a moment—not someone's entire life.

The person posting a beautiful family picture could still be struggling.

And the person looking at that picture may begin comparing their reality with someone else's carefully selected moment.

That comparison can deepen feelings of loneliness, sadness, inadequacy, or isolation.

Sometimes we need to put the phone down and remember that everyone's life has chapters that don't make it to Facebook.

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Check on the Strong Friend Too

We often check on people who openly tell us they're struggling.

But what about the person who never complains?

The caregiver.

The business owner.

The parent everyone depends on.

The person who always answers everyone else's phone calls.

The friend who always gives advice.

The relative who organizes every family gathering.

The person everybody describes as “strong.”

Strong people need someone to check on them too.

Sometimes the person taking care of everyone else is quietly wondering:

“Who is checking on me?”

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This Holiday Season, Don't Just Think About Them—Contact Them

How many times have you thought:

I need to call her.

I haven't heard from him in a while.

I wonder how they're doing.

And then life happens.

You get busy.

A day becomes a week.

A week becomes a month.

And the call never gets made.

This holiday season, Purposeful Visions is challenging you to stop postponing the connection.

Make the call.

Send the text.

Leave the Facebook message.

Knock on the door.

Invite someone to dinner.

Ask the question: “How are you REALLY doing?”

And when they answer, listen.

You don't have to solve their problems.

You don't need the perfect words.

Sometimes people simply need to know that somebody remembered them.

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Small Gestures Can Mean More Than You Realize

Brightening someone's day doesn't require money.

It doesn't require buying a gift.

It doesn't require an elaborate gesture.

Try something simple:

“Good morning. You crossed my mind today.”

“I haven't heard from you lately. How are you?”

“I know the holidays may be difficult without your mom. I'm thinking about you.”

“Do you want some company?”

“I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“I appreciate you.”

“I love you.”

Those words may take seconds to send.

But you don't know how long someone may carry them.

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Give People Permission to Experience the Holidays Differently

Not everyone wants to celebrate.

Not everyone wants to attend the party.

Not everyone wants to decorate.

And not everyone is ready to create new traditions.

That is okay.

Supporting someone doesn't mean forcing them to be cheerful.

Sometimes support means sitting with them in their reality.

Ask what they need instead of assuming.

Maybe they need company.

Maybe they need space.

Maybe they want to talk about the person they lost.

Maybe they don't.

Respect where they are.

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Purposeful Visions Holiday Challenge

Before you finish reading this article, think of three people.

One person you haven't spoken to recently.

One person who has experienced a loss.

And one person who always seems strong.

Now reach out.

Don't wait until Christmas.

Don't assume somebody else already called.

Don't assume they're okay because they're posting online.

Don't assume they'll contact you if they need something.

You make the first move.

Because sometimes the smallest acknowledgment reminds someone:

I am seen.

I am remembered.

Someone cares about me.

And during a difficult holiday season, that reminder can mean more than any gift underneath a tree.

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If You Are the Person Struggling This Holiday Season

You don't have to pretend everything is okay simply because it's the holidays.

Grief is real.

Loneliness is real.

Depression is real.

And asking for support is not something to be ashamed of.

Reach out to someone you trust—a friend, family member, counselor, faith leader, support group, or mental health professional.

Give yourself permission to change traditions, decline invitations, rest, cry, remember, talk, or create new ways of getting through the season.

Healing doesn't have to follow anyone else's schedule.

Purposeful Visions encourages you to choose connection, compassion, and healing—one day at a time.

The Purposeful Visions Takeaway

This holiday season, don't measure your impact by how many presents you buy.

Measure it by how many people you make feel remembered.

Call somebody.

Text somebody.

Check on somebody.

Acknowledge somebody.

Because the greatest gift you give someone this holiday season may simply be letting them know:

“I see you. I haven't forgotten about you. And I care.”

Frequently Asked Questions

Why can grief feel stronger during the holidays?
Holiday traditions, family gatherings, music, food, photographs, and memories can remind people of loved ones or relationships they have lost.

How can I support someone who is grieving during the holidays?
Reach out, listen without judgment, acknowledge their loss, offer practical support, and respect how they choose to spend the holidays.

What should I say to someone who seems depressed or lonely during the holidays?
Keep it simple and sincere. Ask how they're doing, tell them you've been thinking about them, and give them an opportunity to talk without pressuring them.

How can someone cope with grief during the holidays?
It can help to adjust traditions, set boundaries, seek support, honor the person or relationship that was lost, and give yourself permission to experience your emotions without forcing yourself to celebrate.

When should someone seek professional help?
If sadness, hopelessness, isolation, or other symptoms are persistent, worsening, interfering with daily life, or causing concerns about safety, reaching out to a qualified mental health professional or crisis resource is important.

You don't have to navigate grief and emotional pain alone. Take the first step toward support today. 

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